Two turkeys abreast, thawing on a kitchen table. What a pair. Imagine their ghosts having a conversation.

“Hi ya, I’m Fred. Ya gotta name der?”

“Buckshot, but you can call me buck.”

“Sounds like a deer der. You raised by does? Bluah bluah!”

“Very funny. No, I was not raised by does, or bucks for that matter. They thought Buckshot was endearing.”

“Hey, what kind of accent are you carrying?”

“Michigan, Yooper, Ya. Ya know, I’m thinkin’ you’re not from der.”

“No, south of Lansing. Turkeyville. Ever hear of it?”

“Yah, isn’t dat where gobblers trot around like dey own duh place, then BAM! Giblets and livers and legs, oh my!”

“Well, here I am, all dressed up. I was under human care if you can call it that.”

“What do ya mean Buck? I was raised by humans too.”

“Uh, there is a difference between humans and humane.”

“Aw, come on, it couldn’t have been dat bad. At least dey let you out to schmooze with da chicks and folks.”

“True, but for what? The socialization to develop a tender, juicy, main course. Frenemies I’d say.”

“Bluah, bluah! Buck, you seem purty smart, ya shoulda figgered dat out. Death is parta life. A gobbler’s life is to be gobbled in the end.”

“I know that. Oh, geez. You ever hear of the great escape?”

“Steve McQueen? Motorcycle? Bobbed wire fences?”

“Well, Fred, barbed wire is in there.”

“Durnit, I love me some Steve McQueen.”

“I meant THE great Thom turkey escape. T-H-O-M.”

“You mean da fence jumping, hitch-hiking, running from destiny and back, and ending up a center-stage main course holiday meal, turkey?”

“That’s the one.”

“So, eh, what’s your gripe, Buck?”

“It’s an epic story. Thom made some excitement. He did things. The struggle was real, and he kept on it. He found his purpose and followed it.”

“Holy wah, Buck. Aren’t you a bit late to be lookin for da purpose now? I mean, there’s yer cark-ass right dar, doncha know? Destiny at least found you. I was hopin to be in a turkey pastie, but, eh, this is something, ya?”

“Destiny found me, Fred? Destiny found me? I feel like a total passive acquiescent.”

“Eh? Acquiesce-what?”

“Oh, uh, I didn’t do life. Life did me, then did me in.”

“I gotcha. ‘All turkeys die, few turkeys really live,’ eh?”

“Pretty ballsy to quote William Wallace.”

“I may be a Yooper, but the long winters made fer a lotta movie nights. Ever see Fargo? Escanaba in Da Moonlight?”

“I did see The Deer Hunter.”

“Holy wah!”

“Fred, what were we talking about?”

“Turkeys. We were talking turkey, eh?”

“The point is I wanted my life to matter, not simply my death.”

“Let me pank this down a bit fer ya.”

“Pank?”

“Pack it down, tighten this density thing you got your britches so bundled over, Buck.”

“Are you saying I’m dense over my density?”

“If a bear skats in the forest, well…”

“Go on.”

“Ya stuck yer neck out til the end. Sorry. Ya kept on hangin out with humans, some of em never saw a turkey up close. Ya scared some. Ya made some smile. Well, heck, ya even got pictures with em. Ya coulda stayed outta sight, but ya chose to mix it up. Yer destiny was right under your beak the whole time, snood and all.”

“Well Fred… Baluu ahhh me. Makes sense. You’re a good therapy spirit turkey! I’m thankful we met.”

“Ya!”