because I’m definitely outside the garden.

I’m out in the carb jungle and it shows.

Where can I buy fig leaves with spandex?

I know why A and E hid.

I know why I want to hide.

My pants don’t fit right, I mean,

I don’t mean to sag, that’s not how I

usually roll, but now I have a roll and

it sags and my buttocks are packing

their bags and heading northeast.

I used to have a button on my belly and

now there’s just a button hole.

I have to think about where I tie my shoes.

A short chair is best or

I come up with no air in my chest.

Hand me that apple so

I can bite it to the core.

I’ll have it bronzed and stick it

on my dash to remind me

of my core within.

Maybe an apple a day

will make my belly go away.

Maybe.


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16 responses to “Give Me a Bite of that Apple”

  1. brian miller Avatar

    haha…why is it we always have these thoughts post holiday gluttony…lol…and it seems to come with age each year as well…or you just have to work all the harder…

  2. zumpoems Avatar

    Can knowledge lead us to the path of weight reduction? Not if bronzed and on the dash board! Very nice no-holds-barred poem!

    1. Jerry Avatar

      thought provoking comment zum!

  3. zongrik Avatar

    this is really funny. sweet wonderful apples. apple pie. apple cookies, apple cake, apple sauce….

  4. Mark Kerstetter Avatar
    Mark Kerstetter

    OK, I eat apples all the time, exercise too – why the belly?

    1. Jerry Avatar

      Started with an apple and quickly moved on to carboliciousness…

  5. Laurie Kolp Avatar

    I feel the same way after the past few days. I guess we can eat apples for a few weeks until it all starts again.

  6. caty Avatar

    holiday gorging gets a person thinking about the belly all the time 🙂 …and we still have Christmas to go…fun poem!

  7. claudia Avatar

    oh jerry…you always make me smile..tried to picture you on that chair…smiles – my daughters have baked cookies today…think i should head for the apples instead…smiles

  8. kd sullivan Avatar

    This was great fun. I know that for the sake of not wasting I have indulged far too much this year! I keep telling myself…when the apple pie from Thanksgiving is gone…or I’ll eat this pumpkin bread for breakfast, but when it’s gone…

    1. Jerry Avatar

      there’s always the next thing to move onto….

  9. David King Avatar

    I do recall how at college the health lecturer would maintain that if you always ate exactly what you fancied, over a period of weeks you would have eaten a balanced diet. Don’t suppose that helps, does it?

    1. Jerry Avatar

      nope…not for me anyway

  10. Luke Prater Avatar

    ‘where can I buy fig leaves with Spandex’ hehe great stuff

    1. Jerry Avatar

      Wal-mart has em I bet

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